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Today I want to write about FEAR.

For the major part of my life I did not grasp the importance of fear in my life and in our society.

When it became clear to me what kind of grip fear had on me, I realized it were dogs who had opened my eyes and my heart.

Over the last 17 years I have been helping dog loving people in their (inharmonious) relationships with their pets. Thousands of times I have heard dog owners say things like : I am(was) afraid that…, or,  I am(was) worried that….

For many years I did not pay attention to the specific significance of these expressions. In the English language, almost any sentence can begin with: I am afraid that….

Living in London in the eighties I even thought that the use of the expression I am afraid that… gave the person speaking a sophisticated, cute, elegant or even high bow and stylish air. But, although I started using it myself I never got the knack of it.

Having started my work as a dog listener I paid more and more attention to my clients who were (and are using) the expression I am afraid that…

I paid more attention because in many cases I could see the reality of the fear in their eyes, their faces, their body language and in their behaviour with dogs. I did not see persons wanting to give themselves a sophisticated air. I saw persons who were (are) really suffering.

Must I now explain to you that dogs can read and feel this fear in their owners too?

No, of course not.

You must know that dogs can read, feel and notice it much clearer and faster than I do.

Dogs know very clearly that fear creates a weak energy.

Why?

Because dogs are born hunters.

Hunters have to chase and kill a prey before they can eat it.

Do you think that a prey running for its life is full of fear or not?

Of course it is and the members of a pack of canines chasing a fearful prey are delighted by the prospect of turning that prey into a meal.

Let’s leave the pack eat their prey and return to human beings and what fear means to us.

Since I got involved with the ManKindProject I became conscious of the role fear played in my life. Personally I was especially plagued by fear of failure, fear of poverty and fear of not being good enough. When I started accepting these feelings of fear, it began to loose its grip on my behaviour. The result was that I was not ruled anymore by fear on an unconscious level. I could accept fear as a positive force within my life.

I discovered that feeling fear is positive but that ALWAYS feeling fear is debilitating. I will give you a few examples.

If I am afraid that driving past a red traffic light can cause an accident, then what I am feeling is good fear.

If I am afraid that confronting a hungry lioness in the bush represents real danger for me, it will make me stay away from such a confrontation. That is good fear.

If my being afraid of falling of a cliff prevents me from doing silly things in the mountains, that good feeling of fear will save my life.

Instead of continuing to give more similar examples I am assuming that you understand what I mean. You do understand it? I mean that fear is in many ways a very good safeguard of my life.

But if I ALWAYS feel fear when approaching a red traffic light, if I ALWAYS think of hungry lionesses, even when I am in my living room, if I ALWAYS see myself walking on the edge of cliffs, then this feeling of fear is putting me constantly under stress. This stress is turning my muscles into stiff and painful shields against…yes against what? Mostly against feelings of  fear for situations that never happen but only exist in my mind; In my imagination. In our Western society the feelings of stress are so strong in many people that our bodies loose all the essential minerals ( the building blocks of our bodies) resulting in a very weak immune system. As soon as our immune system is weak we cannot protect ourselves against infections, starting from a simple cold to very serious diseases. This is not happening in our imagination. This is real.

Well, are you thinking: What is happening now? Why is this man who calls himself a doglistener writing about fear?

Well, as long as I was under the unconscious spell of my fearful feelings I was always negating I had these feelings. So, I can accept it when fearful and stressful persons are saying that they are not afraid and not stressed. Yes, I can accept that although I do not believe it.

Our dogs accept it too.

They look at their owner, see the fear and feel the weak energy. In addition to that they have to endure the spoiling behaviour of many owners and their conclusion is:

I CANNOT RESPECT THIS PERSON NOR CAN I ACCEPT HER/HIM AS MY LEADER.

It reminds me of my point regarding dog training classes.

If a person full of unconscious fear and stress takes her/his dog to dog training classes, the result will in many cases be nothing, nada, niente, rien du tout, nichts, niks.

Because dog training classes do not tend to deal with human stress. In many case they even produce more stress for the persons and the dogs involved. Because the person is feeling the fear of failure, the fear of not being good enough and the dog is not accepting the leadership of her/his weak owner.

On the other hand if I create a stress-free opportunity, like in my walking group, people and dogs will FEEL the difference.

The first time when a member of my walking group told me that walking her dog with me was some kind of therapy for her, I was amazed.

Today I am still pleasantly surprised when people tell me similar things. Since that first time many more walkers have told me how they got rid of their fears while walking in my Sunday morning dog walking group. They are not afraid anymore their dog will run off, being bitten or bite other dogs and/or persons. Some even come to grips with traumas that have been haunting them for decades. Like the lady who told me this: As a young girl I have been bitten by a big dog. For the major part of my life I felt terrorized by every big dog that came close to me. Here I am walking with you amidst more than thirty dogs without a leash and I feel fine. If someone would have told me that a few months ago I would have laughed and said that I would never do such a thing. Thank you so much for your walks.

My answer was: Thank you very much for being so open and honest to me but I say thank you to the dogs. They are my teachers. They helped me getting to grips with my own fears.

Do you want to tell me something about your fears?

Write to me on brunosdogs@gmail.com.

I will be delighted to read your message.

Kindest regards from Brunothedoglistener.

Well-educated dogs are stable dogs.

Stable dogs have stable owners.

www.brunodogs.com

00 34 690 19 29 76

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